THURSDAY THOUGHTS: Locked Out

I had coffee with friend and fellow blogger, Wendy, last Saturday morning.  Here is a link to her blog http://partofmystory.blogspot.com.  I mentioned since I started blogging again, after a rather lengthy absence, the few posts I’ve done have been serious and I missed the funny me.  Cuz I am a funny one.  And when I say funny I don’t mean funny Ha Ha, but funny in that I do and say stupid things.  Like this episode a while back with my equally funny sister, Chrystal.

 

During my basement dweller days Chrystal and I would occasionally go grocery shopping together.  (She lived upstairs in the main part of the house and I, and my two cats, lived in the cute little basement.  Cute, if you could overlook the spiders.)  We came home from one such shopping trip to find I was locked out of my apartment. 

“No problem, just go through my house, through the garage and laundry room and use the connecting door,” Chrystal suggested.

“Ok.”  As I said that I was trying to remember if I had left that door unlocked or not.  I usually locked it even though she was the only one with access, because I’m a fraidy cat.  What if the bad guys come through her house, rob and kill her, and then decide to check out the basement dweller!

Sure enough, it was locked.

“I’ll get a screw driver and hammer and take it off the hinges,” said one of us.  I think it was me because I remember being the one to actually UNSUCCESSFULLY take it off the hinges. 

“Well since that didn’t work just use the hammer to break the lock.”  I distinctly remember it being Chrystal who came up with that idea.

After about 20 minutes of the two of us taking turns trying to break the stupid lock, which of course wouldn’t break because it was doing its job, we gave up.

“This door is not the sturdiest of doors.  What if we use the hammer to chop a hole right next to the door knob, and then reach in and unlock the door.”  Again, I credit Chrystal with suggesting another brilliant plan.

So chop we did.  And we chopped some more.  We got a lot of aggression out on that stinking door!

 
“Wow, these doors are sturdier than they appear,” I said after another 10 minutes. 

Another few minutes of chopping and we had a hole big enough to reach through only to find out that, in our earlier attempt to break it, we had damaged the lock beyond use.  So locked it stayed.

We stood there for a few minutes staring at all the wood chips on the floor with nothing to show for it.  It was then that Chrystal decided to give it a shot with the hammer and screw driver to take the door off the hinges. 

It came right off. 

What?!?!?  What had I done wrong?  I have taken doors off hinges many times to move large furniture in or out or to paint or something.  What?!?!?

We discussed if for a bit and decided it was because we were tired.  And maybe also needed some therapy time to hit, punch, yell, and destroy an inanimate object.  Poor little door.

Since we rented the house from our church we thought the most Christian thing to do would be to hide it and get someone else to come put in a new door before the elder in charge found out.  Which is what we did.  Unfortunately the elder in charge was mowing our backyard when the chopped up door passed by.  He laughed, shook his head and said he didn’t dare ask what happened.

So that is how my single sister and I solved the problem of being locked out.  Would a husband have gotten it off the hinges on the first try?  Or would he have not forgotten his key in the first place.  Either way I think our plan worked out just fine.  I got in didn’t I?

Question:  Ever been locked out?  Have better luck in getting in than we did? 

TUESDAY TUNES: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0jpHtsSEQo  Hillsong Version

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWxb6VvPrkE Michael W. Smith Version

 
Matthew 6:33 is a Life verse for me:  But seek first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

These words of Jesus are from the Sermon on the Mount.  Leading up to this verse He is talking about worry.  I’m a worrier.  Maybe that’s why I love this verse so much.  When I daily seek Him first, He tells me everything else will fall into place.  So don’t worry.

If I know that to be true, and I trust Him, then why do I have stomach issues, break out into rashes and get fever blisters all stemming from worry?  It’s that head knowledge-heart knowledge stuff again.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

Daily…step by step…one second at a time…start again…listen…trust…remember…pray…be still…seek Him first…do it all again…

God speaks to me through the “address” of this verse:

When I get home from work and wonder what’s on tap for my evening and realize it’s 6:33, I think, “God wants me to spend some time with Him.”  6:33 Seek HIM.

When I’ve made a questionable choice and look at the clock and see that it’s 6:33, I think, “Was that really the best way to handle that situation.”  6:33 Seek HIM

At random times when I see the cost of something is $6.33 or an address is 633 or my eye catches 633 in the middle of a set of numbers, I stop and remember His promise.  6:33 Seek HIM

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, seek His wonderful face, and He will provide.  And what you thought was best for you will grow strangely dim because, in the light of His glory and grace, His plans are always better than what our earthly minds could come think of.

Question:  Do you have things like my 633 where God catches your attention?

TUESDAY TUNES: Say the Name

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Es7GE6seBFc 

I’m on a Margaret Becker kick.  She was my girl back in the late 80’s and 90’s.  Now I’m listening to her again.  I really hadn’t noticed until this go ‘round how much she sounds like the Wilson sisters of Heart; a band I also liked in the 80’s.  But Heart’s “If Looks Could Kill You’d be Lying on the Floor” is a far cry from Becker’s “Say the Name.”

“If Looks Could Kill” would have gotten me through a breakup or hard times back in 1988. But words like, “I was a sucker to believe in you, a sucker for every line,” or “Love is on the line, I ain’t about to be kind,” have such a negative ring to them, don’t ya think??  But I remember blaring that album, (you know, vinyl record albums) in my cute little four-plex on Judge Ely Blvd. in Abilene, TX back in the day.

But thankfully, I’ve progressed past the negativity!  I can sit back and “Say the name that has heard my cry, has seen my tears and wiped them dry,” and find a much more productive healing.  Now, “Just a whisper is enough to set my soul at ease.  Just thinking of this name brings my heart to peace.”
 

Several years ago, I was standing a few rows behind an elderly woman while we were singing Natalie Grant’s song “Your Great Name.”  She was seated, but when we got to the words, “The enemy, he has to leave, at the sound of Your Great Name,” she struggled to a standing position.  That gesture of respect moved me to tears.  “May I never grow so strong that my heart cannot be moved. May I never grow so weak that I fear to speak the truth. I will say this holy Name no matter who agrees. For no other name on earth means so much to me.”

Philippians 2:9-11

⁹ Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹ and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

“From now until the end of time, I’ll Say the Name.”

 

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: Be Still and Know that I am God

Photo by Lois Flores

I was recently asked if I could “Be Still” for a while and await an answer regarding a job.  I replied, “Well, I can tell you it is part of Psalm 46:10 and the entire Psalm starts out with telling us that God is our refuge and strength.  But to actually put it in to practice, nope, I can’t do that.”  Fortunately my potential employer chuckled along with me, also knowing that waiting isn’t easy.

When you’re single, your income is it.  You’re not a supplemental income alongside your spouse's to help with extra expenses.  You’re not a comparable amount to be part of the monthly budget.  You are it!

Sometimes I find that scary. 

Sometimes I find it an exciting opportunity to see how God will work things out. 
Be still…and know that I am God…

Sometimes I find it frustrating. 

Sometimes I find it a good way to trust God.
Be still…and know that I am God…

Sometimes I want to make a phone call and get things rolling.

Sometimes I just want to sit at His feet and watch Him work.
Be still…and know that I am God…

It’s not just “knowing” that He is God.  I have to “let” Him be God.  It’s the difference between reciting Psalm 46 and believing it and trusting Him enough to live it out. 

I joke around with friends and say, “This is the year I marry money!”  My Portland to Coast team would like extra money to buy a van, team T-shirts, a cushy hotel and massage in Seaside after the race.  But until I find that rich husband it just isn’t going to happen.  But in reality, I have found someone…

I found Him while I was being still enough to know Him and then let Him be God.

TUESDAY TUNES: Help Me Find It

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsjZ94K7UQs

This was my theme song for last summer…

I became unemployed and homeless all in one weekend in the spring of 2013.  So in June I found myself on a plane headed for Tennessee to spend the summer with some good friends working as their nanny.  I also needed to clear my head and figure out what was next.

 As I drove around beautiful Franklin, Tennessee with its green cotton-ball trees, Sidewalk Prophets’ song “Help Me Find It” always seemed to be on the radio every time I needed it to be. 

It was my story...

“I don’t know where to go from here, it all used to seem so clear.”

”If there’s a road I should walk, help me find it.”

 And the comfort of…

“For every step, I’ve never been alone.”

 

“Even when it hurts You’ll have Your way, even in the valley I will say, with every breath You’ve never let me go.”

 If I was alone in the car I would sing it at the top of my lungs! But one evening the song came on while I was driving the girls to dance, or to eat, or to a friend’s house or to something.  I said, “Oh, I LOVE this song.  It’s my theme song.”  They asked me why, so I started singing along with the words like I was telling them my story.  When it got to the words “You’ve never failed before” I had to turn my head and fight back tears, because He never has.

 Right before that phrase are the words, “I will wait for You.”  That’s the hard part!!  But I’m learning to “Be Still and Know (remember) that He is God.”  These are not new concepts for me.  It’s just when you find yourself in a difficult situation you learn them all over again.

 Ten months later I’m still a bit in limbo.  But, He’s never failed before!  That’s all I need to know.  So even though I don’t know where to go from here, I will wait for Him.  And He won’t fail me this time either!

Are you listening...

This video has been making the rounds on face book and emails lately, and for good reason.  Our God truly is amazing. 

My theme verse for my music classes this fall has been Psalm 19:1, “The Heavens declare the Glory of God.”  We discussed what that means and what it would look like.  The 3^rd graders came up with this:  A Tree brings God glory just by being himself; being what God made him to be.  I thought that was pretty good. 

Then this video crossed my computer screen from several different people this week and I couldn’t wait to show it to my students.  I heard whispers of, “Wow, that is so cool,” and, “How Beautiful.”  I had to agree.

Enjoy.  Oh, and be what God made you to be.

Question:  Did you see that black and white stripy fish thing?  Wasn’t that awesome?

A Lesson From My Teacher

Mrs. Sloan read IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE to our little cherubs the other day.  I love that book.  And obviously the publisher loved the popularity of the book as well, hence the additions of IF YOU GIVE A PIG A PANCAKE and IF YOU GIVE A MOOSE A MUFFIN.  I think the sequels are rather redundant and not quite up to par with the original so, for this blog’s purposes, I’ll stick with the little mouse guy.

If you’re not familiar with this classic allow me to lay it out for you.  The scene opens with a little girl giving a mouse a cookie which leads to him needing a glass of milk.  That plot line alone should tell you you’re in for an action packed thriller.  Anyway, one thing leads to another until finally, after an art project and a nap, the little guy is ready for another glass of milk.  And chances are, if you give him a glass of milk, he’s going to want a cookie to go with it.

I’ve adopted this methodology in my own life.  You see:

When I make my bed every day I notice the rest of my house (life) looks better too.  When I come home from work and my bed is made I hang up my clothes instead of just plopping them on the chair.  That makes my room all nice and tidy.  So if my room is organized I wash the dishes after dinner instead of just leaving them in the sink.  And if my kitchen is all sparkly fresh I want the bathroom to shine as well.  It’s kind of like an IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE style of housecleaning.

So see, everything you need to know you DO learn in Kindergarten (or Pre-K).

The idea of making my bed every day came from Dr. June Breninger.  Dr. June passed away this month.  She was a great teacher and example of Godly living to me and all the thousands of people who crossed her path. She will be greatly missed.

Question:  What are some simple life lessons you have learned along the way?

Who is in Your Flock?

John 10: 1-5   “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. ² The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. ³ The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴ When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. ⁵ But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

My other “hat” at school this year, in addition to my music teaching gig, is being an aide in the a.m. Pre-Kindergarten class.  Now, having been a teacher for many years I can honestly say that 4 year -old children are my least favorite age to teach.  My favorite would be 3^rd or 4^th graders.  They are old enough to know how to do things but young enough to not give you attitude because they know how to do things.

Students in Pre-K can hardly walk without falling over let alone walk in a straight line down the hall without crashing in to at least 5 or 6 other children in the process.  I keep telling the head teacher, Mrs. Sloan, it’s a good thing they are cute because if one more of them makes a break from the middle to the head of the line I’m gonna freak-out. 

We have two preciously adorable Asian girls in our class.  One speaks virtually no English and the other has enough vocabulary to get by.  She knows things like, “No.”  She is really good with that word.  Their mothers are the epitome of Asian beauty: flawless complexion and petite little bodies.  I hate them.  They are very soft spoken and watching their little daughters you would think they would be as well.  But, not to stereotype, there has got to be an elderly grandmother living with them.  The little girls will be working quietly, then turn their head towards us and holler out, full force, “TEACHA.  TEACHA.”  “My name is Miss Dana, may I help you with something.”   “TEACHA.  TEACHA.”  “Yes, we’ve established I’m your teacher, Miss Dana, what do you need?”  “TEACHA.  TEACHA.”  This goes on all morning.

On the fourth day of school we discovered one little boy REALLY wants to finish his projects.  It doesn’t matter if it is time to clean up or not, he REALLY, REALLY wants to finish what he was doing.  Or, as he very emphatically told me, over and over, “I.  Want. To.  Fini.  Shit.”  It was all I could do to keep from using my own expletives back at him, but since I’m a professional I refrained.  Not to mention it is a Christian school.

Another little girl was saying good-bye to her friend at pick up time but her friend didn’t see her open-hug-expectant-arms.  Her bottom lip began to quiver at the over-sight so I ran over and offered her a hug.  She looked up at me and smiled and I asked her if she knew my name.  “It’s Mrs. Sloan.”  I said, “No that’s the other teacher.  I’m Miss Dana.”  Her mom laughed and said her daughter had told her that her two teachers were Mrs. Sloan and Mrs. Slawn.  She was glad to clear up the confusion.

Well, my students may not know my name but they do know my voice.  The gospel of John says:  He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.  When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. I keep that verse in my head every morning.  When they look back at their Pre-K experience, I don’t care if they remember my name, but I do hope they remember my voice.  A voice that spoke kind words of love over them daily.  A voice that encouraged them to keep trying and do their best even if the task is difficult.  I want them to remember someone who thought they were the greatest kid ever even in the midst of being corrected.

Isaiah 40 says:   Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Not one of them is missing.  I may not have children of my own, but God has entrusted me with these 16 kids this year.  Mrs. Sloan and Miss Dana will treat His creations with care…even if it kills us!!

Call 911

I don’t know how the emergency system of calling 911 came about or who created it, but it is a pretty cool system.  Call that number and police, fire trucks or an ambulance will come blaring down the street to your rescue.  With nifty tracking systems they can find your location even if you can’t speak to give your address or tell them what’s wrong.

Yesterday at church, on the 10^th anniversary of September 11^th, our pastor shared another way of calling 911.

Psalm 91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Cool.

Sometimes I choose to dwell in that shelter and sometimes I don’t.  It makes more sense to rest there though.  I know that.  But even when I’ve wondered off alone and don’t know where I am, I can call out His name like a 911 call.  He knows where I am even if I can’t speak or tell Him what is wrong.  He knows.

Prayers to our nation and to all who lost loved ones on 911.

Stay-Puttedness #2

A month or so ago I mentioned I was pondering my stay-puttedness issues.  I believe I said something like, “Check-in this time next year and see if I have stayed put or am living somewhere in Alaska.” 

Well, I’m not exactly in Alaska but I did move about seven miles west of where I had been living for the last eight plus years.  This move wasn’t my preference, but if I want to keep teaching at this small private school I need to downsize my monthly expenditures quite a bit in order to survive comfortably and not fall into the whole foreclosure scare.  So, this week I put my house up for rent, packed up my 3 bedroom, 2 bath house and moved into a basement studio apartment.

Yowsa, who knew I could accumulate so much stuff in such a short time.  When I first bought my home, one bedroom stayed completely empty for an entire year.  Another bedroom only had my piano and a chair.  My bedroom didn’t even have a bed for the first couple of months. Out of the 4 closets in my house only two had things in them:  my bedroom had clothes and the front closet had my coats.  And the garage only housed my car.

But fast forward 8 years and 9 months and it is a completely furnished home filled with 8 years and 9 months worth of stuff.  And it was just ME.  No one else.  All that stuff is mine!  And now I am cramming it all into a tiny studio apartment!!

So, I guess I learned one thing through my study of stay-puttedness:  Moving helps you throw out the stuff you don’t really need and are too lazy to pack.

Next week I hope to do one final Italy posting.  This past week and a half has been difficult to post because I didn’t have Internet at home because of my move.  So, hopefully all these little details will be worked out soon.  Thanks for your patience and sticking with me.

Question:  When was the last time you inventoried all the stuff you’ve collected over the years?

Stay-puttedness

This weekend my church family celebrated its 100^th anniversary!  I have been a part of this body for 10 years and that is a record for me.  I’m a bit of a wanderer.

The title of this post is not a real word.  Every which way I type it a red line shows up underneath.  Regardless of how it’s placed in the dictionary, it is how I am feeling these days.  I feel I need to Stay Put!  But it is so foreign to me. 

During my lifetime I attended four elementary schools, two junior high schools, two high schools and two colleges.  I have taught music in seven schools, have been a nanny for two families and served as a children’s minister.  While living in Manhattan I earned a living walking dogs, cleaning apartments, sewing designer dog/cat collars, a couple of stints as a coat check girl, a children’s birthday party entertainer, teaching mommy and me music classes and babysitting for 20 plus families all over the Upper Eastside. 

I have lived in 9 different cities in 5 states.  Until recently, the longest I had kept one address was four years and nine months.  The average length was just two years.  Currently, I have had the same address for 8 ½ years.  It seems strange to still be here; my usual wanderlust is getting antsy.

When moving from place to place was my parent’s decision, I was just along for the ride.  My sisters' and my desires were never really considered.  I always said when I grew up and where to live was MY decision, I would stay put.  But non-stay-puttedness is in my blood.  I have obviously followed the pattern set for me by my parents.

Running away and staying put are at war inside me these days.  I’m anxious for new adventures, but at the same time my roots are running too deep now to just up and leave.  Being single allows me the freedom to do so if I want to.  But staying put helps this single gal’s extended family to solidify.

Is it because I’m getting older that the stay-put bug has invaded my psyche?  Or is it because I’m supposed to stay?  And was leaving really running away all those other times?  Or was I just being led to serve in other places? 

After this weekend’s celebrations I’m glad I’ve been a part of this congregation for as long as I have.  Laying down roots isn’t that bad after all.  A year from now I may be far away, but I don’t think so.  Check back here, May 16, 2012 and see if stay-puttedness won or if I’m a housekeeper in a fishing camp in Alaska. 

Question:  What’s your lifestyle:  A Stay-putter or Nomad?

Flying Solo

We have a nice young man subbing in the 4^th grade class at school this week.  He is among the hundreds of new graduates hoping to find a teaching job in an era of extreme educational layoffs.  But since he is single, he has more options available to him than his fellow married teacher candidates.  He can easily up and move to teach anywhere in the world if he wants to. 

Class at Crossroads English School in Pampady, India

I gave him a folder I’ve been saving full of pamphlets of agencies for teaching abroad.   Our conversation reminded me of the positives a single life can bring.  We are free to take advantage of opportunities that arise and not worry about it affecting our kid’s little league schedule or spouse’s promotion at work.  Adventure is an easily packed suitcase away.   
    

However, that kind of freedom is a tradeoff for having someone to go on the journey with you.   While being unencumbered let’s you jump at a moment’s notice, it also leaves you jumping alone.  I’ve been jumping alone for quite some time now.   There have been times where I preferred going solo and then there were times where having a partner to catch me when I fell would have been nice.

Not Mr. Right!

Either way, I’d rather jump alone than not jump at all.  You miss out on way too much in life waiting for someone to join you.  Do it.  Don’t live with regrets. 

This young man may go for it.  I mentioned to him that, while teaching abroad, he might even find a likeminded young female teacher he could build a life with.  Since I’m his mother’s age, he’s not an option for me, but 25 years ago it would have been fun to have someone like him to jump with.     



Fellow Teachers

I have visited schools in Africa and India, but the timing never seemed right for me to pursue an overseas music teaching career full-time.  Who knows though, maybe someday I will make it back and teach those lovely children what the little black dots on a sheet of music are called.  In the meantime, I will continue jumping solo and being the most fabulous single gal there ever was!

These pictures are from a 2005 trip to India. 

Question:  Are you the type that, if your circumstances allowed, you would “jump at a moment’s notice” for some great opportunity or adventure? 

Bloom HOW You Are Planted

I was once on an airplane that lost an engine.  It was a bit scary but I didn’t feel my time had come to die.  Actually, I think I just was in denial of the seriousness of what was happening.

The flight attendant calmly re-told us all the things they usually tell you at the beginning of the flight that no one ever pays attention to.  She added that on her signal we were to put our heads down and grab our ankles. 

When the time came and she gave the signal, we all just sat frozen and stared at her, like we thought she was kidding or something.  She glared back at all the frightened faces and yelled, “DO IT!”  So, we did.  That’s life.  You gotta just do it.  Like Nike. 

The expression Bloom where you are planted is good advice.  But we also need to Bloom how we are planted.  We can’t wait until our circumstances change for the better.  Sure we would have liked to have landed the plane in a more traditional manner, but that was not an option.

If you’re single, then take advantage of the freedom you have.  If you’re married with kids, then give your children a fine example of being planted in a firm foundation.  If you’re an athlete, musician, student, nanny, computer geek, philanthropist or phlebotomist, bloom how you are planted.   If your plane only has one engine, then put your head down, grab your ankles and pray.  Just Do It.

         

I want to bloom HOW I am planted as a wonderfully blessed single woman.  I’m writing a memoir of my journey in singleness.  You’ll see little blips of it here and there if (when…) you come back and visit this blog.

Question:  What about you?  In what ways are you blooming HOW you are planted in this world?