Ooopsie!

Last Thursday night, after decorating our van for the Portland to Coast Relay, I plopped down in my favorite chair only to jump back up a minute later remembering I hadn't posted anything in my blog that day.  It was Thursday, how could I forget?!?!  But I did.  And here it is Monday and I'm writing a lame post about how I forgot last Thursday.  Does being gone all weekend at PTC count?  Does Teacher In-Service starting today count?  Does that fact that I'm too tired to think of anything fabulous to write about count?  Probably not, but I'm going to fall back on one of those excuses anyway.

XO

Question:  Crap, I can't even think of a question.  You make one up...

Another One Bites the Dust

Sad news everyone:  Ames and Jackie broke up!  And they didn’t even last long enough to enjoy watching “their episode.”  You know the one where he waved goodbye at a chance of $250,000 and went chasing after her limo. 

Bummer.  Didn’t see that one coming.  Jake and Vienna most definitely.  Brad and Emily, sort of figured they’d fizzle.  But Ames and Jackie, nope, didn’t see that one coming. 

Poor Jackie.  I say poor Jackie because the speculation is that he broke up with her.  But really it is poor Ames cuz Jackie was a keeper!

Question:  Did you think they would last?  Do you even care…J  Do you think I should just let it go and stop watching such drivel? 

Love or Money

I want to share something very romantic I saw this week, but in doing so I have to confess my obsession with trashy reality TV.  I did get rid of my TV recently but didn’t get rid of my friends that still own them.  So Monday night I went over to one of those friend’s houses and watched Bachelor Pad with two other single female friends.  Midway through we realized this was going to be two hours of our life we would never get back but were glued to the ridiculous behavior anyway.

The Bachelor Pad cast is basically made up of rejects from previous The Bachelor and The Bachelorette seasons.  I wasn’t going to get caught up in it but I just couldn’t resist the previews of Jake and Vienna going at each other.  I watch these shows and pretend they are chick flick movies instead of real people living out the intimate details of their love story in front of a national audience--which includes their parents!

The final minutes of last Monday’s Bachelor Pad episode shows a sweet, lovable, albeit a “deer in the headlights” kind of guy, Ames, choosing love over money.  Jackie, a girl he was falling for on the show, got voted off.  While walking back to the cast after kissing her goodbye, he suddenly stops, waves goodbye to everyone and takes off running after her limo.  He jumps in, like her knight in shining armor, and shows her that she is more important than the chance of winning $250,000.

I threw my hands up in the air and screamed, “Yea Ames.  Go Jackie.”  It was close to the feeling I get watching Richard Gere, decked out in his dress whites, marching into the factory to carry off Debra Winger at the end of An Officer and a Gentleman.  “Way to go, Paula.”

I have had some grand romantic gestures in my day but it has been a while.  So I shall live vicariously through Ames and Jackie, closely watching their relationship blossom by google-ing them from time to time.

Please don’t think less of me.  I also read.

Question:  Is trashy reality TV one of your guilty pleasures?

eHarmony Video Bio response to Debbie's "Cat Girl" Bio

Here is a clever response to Debbie's eHarmony melltdown.  I like his dry sense of humor...and the fact that he likes cats.  AND especially the fact that he knows he is too old for Debbie.

Tired Tires

We’ve all heard the Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars analogy, as well as my favorite, because it involves food, Men are Waffles and Women are Spaghetti.  And of course we all know a major difference between men and women is that men are more visual than women.

Never is that point driven home more for me than when it comes to tires.  I have never had a woman mention to me that the air in my right front tire is looking low.  Or ask when was the last time I had my tires rotated.  Women do comment on what I’m wearing or notice that I’ve recently had a haircut.  But not once has a women commented on the status of my tires.  No, I leave the tire maintenance reminders up to the men in my life.

One day last week my friend Eric told me I needed to have some air put in my right rear tire.  Then on Sunday he reminded me again.  He reminded me cuz I keep forgetting to do it (kind of like remembering to change my oil).  Then Tuesday night another friend mentioned it needed some attention.  Fortunately he had a tire pump, or did he call it a compressor, at his house so he did it for me.

Neither one of the wives of these men noticed that my tires were in need of attention.  Fortunately though for me their husbands did.  So all you wives out there listen up, cook your man a nice dinner, give him a big kiss and whatever else that may lead to and say thank you.  He may not do the dishes or take out the garbage without being asked but I bet you never have to remind him to put air in your tires.

Question:  Do you procrastinate with car maintenance?

These Are a Few of My Least Favorite Things

A couple of things happened at church today that reminded me of two of my least favorite things about being single.  One:  I feel like, just because I am talking to a single man, he may, or others may think I am hitting on him.  Two:  When a man recently becomes a widower I feel all eyes go to the single women at church to see if they are setting their sites.  Now granted, this could partly be in my insecure imagination.  Partly, but not completely.

Back in my twenties, being a nice friendly church going girl and following my mother’s lead in being welcoming to visitors, I went up to meet a young man who had placed membership at the service.  Well, after a few minutes he said, “I think I need to let you know I have a girlfriend.”  I had been involved with someone for over a year at the time, and was shocked he felt the need to explain his status to someone just being polite.  Besides, I was much taller than he was.

Another time, at the same congregation during my twenties, a friend of mine past away, leaving a husband and two young children.  I was speaking to him two weeks, TWO WEEKS, after her funeral, and a man from church came up to us and suggested we get together.  I was, we both were, flabbergasted, embarrassed and angry!

So today at church after walking over to say hello to two single male friends during the “shake-hands-howdy-do time” I looked over at a recent widower to see how he was faring during the service.  Then I thought, “Avert, avert, avert your eyes.”  I realized in the course of two minutes I had given ammunition for both areas of teasing.

I am not exaggerating with this.  I have sat by single male friends during church and had folks come up afterwards and say how happy they are for us. 

I will be 51 on Wednesday.  That is a lot of years of averting.

Question:   Have you been on the receiving end of the teasing?

Are you guilty of being the teaser?

Bad Hair Day Encounter

Most days I put on all my make-up, not just lipstick, and care about what my hair looks like and what clothes I’m wearing.  Last Saturday was not one of those days.

I was driving over to clean my old house before the renters (pray for renters, please!) move in when I glanced up at the little plastic thingy in the upper left-hand corner of the windshield you get when you change your oil only to notice that, once again, I was waaaaay over due for an oil change.  Every time I make that visit and get a lecture from the oil changing dude about how important it is to change your oil in a timely manner, I promise myself I will be on time with the next one.  But alas.

So I decided to stop in and get ‘er done before I headed over to the house.  I decided this knowing I was dressed to clean and not to impress. 

In the waiting room I busied myself perusing the most recent RV magazine.  After a few minutes in walked a very cute, and may I say very again, cute guy.  I could have been his mother, or at least his mother’s younger sister, which would make me his aunt, so however you looked at it he was just wrong for me.  But still!  He was very cute.

At that moment I thought, “How silly, I’m looking at someone young enough to be my nephew and am upset that I’m in sweats, no make-up and my hair is in a greasy ponytail.”  Did it really matter?  Really?

We began to chat, and it wasn’t aunt and nephew type banter but actually a little flirty.  He laughed when I told him I bought my Jetta for the pretty dashboard lights; most men laugh at that actually.  He used to have a Jetta but now drives a Ford.  He doesn’t like it as well cuz it’s a gas guzzler.  He also had really nice eyes and a shaved head.  I like a nice shaved head.  I also like heads with hair.  I’m really not picky.

After 15 minutes of oil changing waiting room fun it was time for me to pay and leave.  He didn’t ask for my number or if he could friend me on facebook.  I didn’t expect him to but it was still a fun few minutes.

Question: 

Women:  Are you the type that never leaves the house without makeup? 

Guys:  Are you the type that wants your wife/girlfriend to always too fabulous?

A Lesson from Ruth

Sometimes I like to scandalize my mother.  Usually it’s with something innocent like this:  “I’d like the fish please, just for the halibut.”  She rolls her eyes and wonders where she went wrong.  Oh please, if that’s all she has to worry about with me!

My sister Chrystal and I joined her at the pool of her retirement mobile home park today.  We pretended we were like Cameron Diaz from the movie In Her Shoes, only, you know, older and fatter.  I read her a facebook post from Mila Polevia our Worship minister at church.  Thought some of you would enjoy it as well.  Hope you’re not scandalized…

ATTENTION SINGLE LADIES!

Quick Bible Lesson:

In the Bible, Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on your Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives:

Brokeaz

Poaz

Lyinaz

Cheatinaz

Dumbaz

Cheapaz

Lazyaz

Or especially his 3rd cousin, Beatinyoaz.

Please wait on your Boaz & make sure he respect Yoaz!

Question:  Do you have an azes to add to the list?